October 2010
4 posts
Is nothing sacred?
Let me come up with these for a living. →
September 2010
1 post
It looks like the jig is up...kinda. →
August 2010
15 posts
What if I stamped my own face with my own face? →
Out: Showing off your guns. In: This! →
“If you don’t get to the Cheesecake Factory in Boca by 4, you’re not eating ‘till...”
– Grandma Gloria: Boca Raton resident, Early-Bird Special enthusiast
Award of the Day: "Mother of the Year"
I, the co-overseer of the most prestigious awards to be given out on this website, clearly have to give the “Mother of the Year” award to, quite frankly, the mother we all wish we had. It only makes sense to give the best mother (of not just the year, but probably of all time) an award to not only solidify the fact but also most importantly to boast about to her drug dealer who, like...
Sassy Gay...GIVING TREE? →
“Rachel….looking?”
And the winner is...
…Rachel Jacobs! In a contest set up and operated by me, I’d like to present the award and only nominee of “Blogger of the Day” to her. Thank you for putting the virtual defibrillator to good use and resuscitating this award-winning blog. It needed to be done, and you were there with your Rachel looking to save the day!
I love to pass out too. →
July 2010
49 posts
“And when things fit into place, a shiver of ecstasy travels through me.”
– Gabrielle Witte
Spotlight on: My sanity
Now, I’m the first to admit I’m one voice-no-one-else-hears away from being escorted to a psychiatric ward under a 5150 hold.
I’m the most screwy, germaphobic, superstitious, obsessive compulsive, hypochondriac you’ll ever meet.
Most people’s phobias are of snakes, or spiders, or height. I, on the other hand, like to mix things up and go against the grain, so...
Spotlight on: Lasertagging
If any of you have had or attended a 10th birthday party, you most likely know what lasertagging is.
For those of you who are baffled yet captivated by this concept, let me shed some light on it for you. It’s society’s version of Star Wars meets Call of Duty. It’s a paradise located somewhere between Nirvana and pure bliss. Let me explain my passion…
Some call it the...
Spotlight On: Revivals
…arguably, the biggest insult to our generation.
The following throught process: “why not take a film that totally rocked, and make a straight to DVD out of it?”, really shouldn’t have ever happened, but since it did, here I am confirming, I want no part of the era and in my biography, you may include, ”the generation she did live through is irrelevant; however, let...
Rebuttal: The conscientious one
I can’t help that the stars aligned and the duty as breadwinner was delegated to me in this relationship. You have neglected our child, and abused your power of joint custody. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some Witte looks to ogle at, and have disregarded any Rachel profiling thoughts I’ve had.
Onto the posts,
G (the one who strives to keep this puppy afloat)
Rachel's Turn
When did this blog become a Witte look at profiling, I’d like to know. It’s not even that witty, just a lot if profiling.
Ironic, ain’t it?
R
(back on the scene)
aWitteLookatRachelProfiling: Birthday Wishes!
The happiest of birthdays to one of the most fantastic, brilliant, and dashing authors, Ernest Hemingway!
“But a man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated.”
Oh, and Happy Birthday to Robin Williams too.
Spotlight on: Lindsay Lohan, jailbird
I thought this day would never come. Hallie and Annie are getting their asses shipped off to jail.
Maybe she will meet her long-lost English twin in jail (kind of like the isolation cabin), they can fence (I heard there’s an excellent array of activities for convicts at Lynwood jail), and then they can pull a switcharoo and get Michael and Dina Lohan back together (that would be a dream...
Spotlight on: The story of our modeling careers
It may be new news to few, but Rachel and I have blossoming modeling careers. We’ve been signed by the top modeling agency, and plan to walk in New York and Paris fashion weeks.
Word on the street is that people are saying “the camera loves us”, that we’re “the Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell of our generation” and “the ‘It’ girls that are...
“I thought there was someone out there that would love a ginger for who she is,...”
– Erin Kelly, concerned ginger and possible soothsayer
Spotlight on: Hipsters, oh the irony
Satan must have drugged the angels above so he could rub his depraved hands together and create this rapidly growing (hopefully soon to be extinct) species.
Of the tragedies to be inflicted upon humankind, these deplorable animals are up there with famine, genocide, and Mel Gibson.
It’s all about irony with these savages. It’s 80 degrees with 95% humidity, but of course, without...
You Don't Need to Understand the Convention of...
…Just ask Gaby.
This spotlight is dedicated to every advance that has been spurned by Gaby and conversely, to every boy who accidentally gave Gaby his number and immediately had to update his texting plan.
Seemingly your average 20ish year old girl, Gaby enjoys a good time so long as that good time involves AEPI, free shots, and T-Anthony’s by the end of the night.
However, it has...
Spotlight on: Billy the Exterminator
For those who know me, you know I’m white trash at heart. Born and raised in a trailer park as I like to say…
With a face only a mother (and I) could love and my future babydaddy, Billy the Exterminator, is my newfound obsession.
I don’t know if the appeal of him is the fact that he looks like most of the vermin he’s hired to “take care of”, or the fact...
aWitteLookatRachelProfiling supports Team Polanski...
Roman Polanski, a free man!
As a former thirteen-year-old girl, a decidedly patriotic citizen (on the fourth of july), and an appreciator of a statute of limitations, I say bravo for holding out so long, Polanski! I, like the Swiss, am on your side.
Mostly because you used to look like this and also because i think i might own Chinatown; however I can’t be positive.
Solidarity! and I...
History’s Greatest Psychic Animals →
(via julioclock)
“Let it be known: I’M the Mary and SHE’S the Rhoda.”