A WITTE LOOK AT RACHEL PROFILING

Satan must have drugged the angels above so he could rub his depraved hands together and create this rapidly growing (hopefully soon to be extinct) species. 

Of the tragedies to be inflicted upon humankind, these deplorable animals are up there with famine, genocide, and Mel Gibson.

It’s all about irony with these savages. It’s 80 degrees with 95% humidity, but of course, without missing a beat, a hipster will walk by in a scarf or beanie…because it’s ironic. 

Chain-smoking is reserved for my grandpa, sorry hipsters.

And, I’m on to you. Your hair? You rolled out of bed…before you spent 2 hours on it.  

Mainstream is so mainstream. They can be found hunting, gathering, and living off the beaten path, in an Urban Outfitters dressing room or at the Fairfax Flea Market.

NEWSFLASH: We all go to Coachella, Lollapalooza, and Bonnaroo. You can keep your ambient monotone sounds, and your high-pitched screamo music, we’re not ironic enough for it.

Also, we all take photographs, and film wasn’t invented yesterday. 

Is it ironic to drink PBR, or do you genuinely like the taste? 

Do you use your calculator watch? 

An actual hipster at heart,

G