Spotlight on: Lasertagging

If any of you have had or attended a 10th birthday party, you most likely know what lasertagging is.

For those of you who are baffled yet captivated by this concept, let me shed some light on it for you. It’s society’s version of Star Wars meets Call of Duty. It’s a paradise located somewhere between Nirvana and pure bliss. Let me explain my passion…

Some call it the wimpier confidant of paintballing, I call it as close to real war as one can get.

When we’re feeling crazy, my friends and I roll up to UltraZone ten-deep and are exempt from the debriefing process since we’re regulars.  Once the rookies are done learning how to hold their enlarged laser pointers (loaded weapons) and how many points are awarded for each area on the illuminated vests (bulletproof shields), we roll in, V-shape, and reconvene. 

I may have accrued some debt by paying off UltraZone to allow us always to be the red team (nickname: The Red Scare(s)), but that is a separate issue. That leaves the rest of the newbies to either be divided up onto the yellow or blue team. The inside of the lasertagging realm is a sprawling land bisected by passageways, hideouts, and caves. The ambience is somewhere along the spectrum of worst acid trip and the blacklight from my 4th grade diary.

The #1 rule is No Running, but when presented with a mission, “rules” becomes just a 5-letter word. I take no prisoners. I sprint like Freddy or Jason are on my heels or like there’s a bag of Funyuns up ahead. For the rest of the players, the object is to point your weapon at your opposing team, shoot your enemy’s vest or gun, or set off the bases to gain points. One has to be in excellent shape to have the endurance to persevere and triumph throughout the 15 minute open-firing.

Once we dominate, all teams exit and see who was able to score the most points… Me, naturally.

It takes years of practice and training to have the mastery and finesse that I embody.

Good luck catching up,

G