Award of the Day: “Mother of the Year”
I, the co-overseer of the most prestigious awards to be given out on this website, clearly have to give the “Mother of the Year” award to, quite frankly, the mother we all wish we had. It only makes sense to give the best mother (of not just the year, but probably of all time) an award to not only solidify the fact but also most importantly to boast about to her drug dealer who, like most, has always doubted her (reputedly).
The gem that is Dina Lohan has been aspiring to be and following in her daughter’s footsteps since Lindsay received her first paycheck. She has been there for her through the best and the worst of times: when Lindsay got the role as Hallie and Annie (two parts, double paycheck that Dina would “put in a safe place”, her personal bank account) in The Parent Trap, when Lindsay filmed Dina’s tribute to her high school years Mean Girls, and then the times when she stumbled out of clubs at 3am, Dina was always front and center offering to “fill in for Lindsay” as she posed and flipped her hair in front of the paparazzi. Dina has stuck by her daughter’s side throughout the whole trial - bedazzling her SCRAM bracelet for her, baking her cookies with razor files in them, and filling Splenda packets with cocaine - essentially all the things any mother knew she had a duty to do when she signed up to join the world of Motherhood.
Dina is the woman any woman should look to when preparing to start a family. Some neglect their children which can have adverse effects on their lives. They can go down the path of drug addiction, alcoholism, psychosis, and jail time. Yes, Lindsay took a wrong turn at the fork in the road and followed the adderall and vodka shots down the “wrong path”, but it wasn’t Dina’s fault! No. She tried to stop Lindsay, but the music at the clubs was too loud for her the hear anything.
Mom, I know you’re reading this, so take a page out of Dina’s handbook because you have some things to work on, and a standard to live up to,
G
